Nargle Party
by kaze karter
Summary: OneShot.Slughorns party without the gatecrasher, it can only get funnier. RonHermione, HarryLuna.


Disclaimer- Don't own anything.

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One-shot.

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'I really should have brought my wand.' she thought.

'I really should have brought a less hostile date.' He thought.

Harry Potter mentally sighed to himself as he's aforementioned date Luna Lovegood glared up at the ceiling of the enlarged office, the bustling party in full swing. Across the room in small sporadic patches were sprigs of mistletoe, ready and aware to catch unsuspecting couples, and bestow painful deaths upon them.

Or at least that's how Luna saw it; she was watching the holly patches as if she suspected them to sprout legs and horns and turn Godzilla on the merry witches and wizards dancing below its wreaths.

Harry sighed inwardly again as he heard a voice call over the babble of the crowd, Slughorn was repeating his story of great friendship with the 'boy who lived' for the third time tonight.

Intuition warned him to move just as behind him Slughorn and the head of Interrelation Wizarding Corporation spotted him and began to move in his direction. He grabbed Lunas hand and pulled them both into the crowd hoping to loose the slightly tipsy potions master and the stout wizard with a squashed face that reminded Harry of Crookshanks with slightly less fur.

"They really don't know what there getting themselves into." Luna muttered watching as an eager looking girl cornered her date under the mistletoe, a wiry looking boy who looked a lot less enthusiastic.

"Its just mistletoe Luna it's not about to throttle the guests." Harry replied watching them and frowning.

"Obviously you didn't hear about that incident in 1984, where the two victims were never seen again." She paused as the boy from before quickly ducked out of his girlfriends fierce embrace and scooted towards the drinks table, "And plus it's not necessarily the mistletoe, it's the Nargles that inhabit it."

For the second time in his life Harry was stopped from asking exactly what Nargles were by the arrival of one harried and windswept looking Hermione who smiled at him nervously.

"Hello," she said quickly glancing around at the room.

"Hi." Harry turned his head from Luna to her.

"You haven't see Mc—I mean, Cormac have you?" she asked breathlessly.

Harry couldn't help but look at her wryly, he had the sudden temptation to lecture her about revenge, just for payback for all the times she had explained his situations to him and most often leaving him confused and a little disgruntled, however, he bit his tongue and instead pointed_ left_ mutely.

She nodded, and swung on her heel to turn _right_ before squeezing between a dancing couple who should have had the words 'caution wide load,' printed on both their backsides.

"I think she's been bitten." Luna said absentmindedly from over his left shoulder, he turned to look at her casting a suspicious glance at the vampire Sanguini. "Bitten by what?"

"Gulping Plimpies," she said matter-of-factly.

When Harry looked at her weirdly, Luna explained. "Their jealousy bugs, other wise I suppose her and Ronald would be together by now."

Harry felt heat rise up his neck to his face—he really didn't need to hear this.

"I suppose I can get them some Gurdyroot, I have some spares." She said thoughtfully.

Harry just stared.

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About a half and hour later and many whiffs of cooking sherry, one over dramatic conversation with a very loud Professor Trelawney, two offers of book biographies and one inhaled cup of mead later, Harry was officially dizzy.

He gratefully took the napkins Luna handed to him vaguely, and wiped his drink from his face and silently made a promise to himself to brush his teeth four times a day.

"Went for a swim didja' Harry," the teasing voice made Harry turn, Ginny Weasley was standing behind his Dean Thomas's arm looped around her waist.

Still grinning Harry could only gesture hopelessly for risk of chocking again, "He's a Wrackspurt magnet." Luna said curiously watching him; she seemed completely oblivious that both Snape and Slughorn were still staring at her, the former with his lip curled in disgust.

Ginny and Dean disappeared into the crowd again and a high pitched shriek drew Harrys attention before, "Sanguini no! I thought we talked about this, no eating the guests!"

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Another hour in and Harry was growing weary even Marcus Belby being forced to tap dance in a fiesta outfit, complete with sombrero by his murderous looking girlfriend couldn't keep him awake, at least until Belby tried to open his mouth and found the only sound that came out was a tune of the hat dance constantly repeated.

Harry saw Hermione twice more that night, the first time looking just as before, but the second time she was beaming and Harry only worked out why the next day when Cormac Mclaggen was discovered rolling on his back like a stranded turtle on the third floor corridor his arms replaced with his legs and vice versa.

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Harry was surprised to find about another hour off the scheduled end of the party Romilda Vane being dragged into the room by her ear while she fervently tried to claw at Filches grubby hands, Slughorns judgment being impaired he didn't realize the immanent danger this presented to Harrys life and quickly allowed her to stay.

The next half-hour was spent yanking him and Luna into closed doors and behind decorations, causing the blonde Ravenclaw to figure he had also been bitten…but by something much larger this time.

Harrys next odd encounter for that evening came when he was inconspicuously hiding himself behind a bowl of crisps, Blaise Zabini was strutting past, two Slytherin girls clutching either of his two meaty arms, "You're even more pretty then the two girls I dated last week." He said charmingly, making the two girls giggle loudly, obviously under the impression that he was joking, frankly Harry wasn't too sure.

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Time seemed to fly by and inexplicably Harry soon found himself standing on his head the rest of the world upside down excluding Luna, whom he was mirroring, and was doing a handstand next to him, her face going red as all the blood rushed downwards. "Why are we doing this again?" he asked feeling top heavy.

"Too stop our heads from rolling off, father said it's happened in numerous cases when people have spent too much time on their feet." She said simply.

Harry sincerely hopped that she wouldn't make him walk backwards too his common room.

By the time Slughorn was so red in the face with wine and had collapsed—literally—into the snacks table, it was time to call it a night, and while Robert Combs flared his legs and arms trying to get out from under the great weight of his potions master (never before had reaching for a chocolate cauldron been so dangerous) The room quickly drained of people all looking to avoid cleaning up.

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Harry was oddly present when the majority of the room had been cleared and most decorations taken down, he had suddenly found himself without Luna by his side and curiosity winning over sleep, he was now searching for her, and lo and behold he found her five minutes later with her wand (which she had somehow retrieved when Harry hadn't been looking) pointed dangerously at a sprig of mistletoe directly over her head, she narrowed her silver eyes and held out a hand to stop him as he approached. "Careful Harry," she warned, "I saw one fly in—just now, fangs and all."

Harry looked up at the innocent piece of mistletoe which seemed to be giving him a pleading look 'please don't let her kill me, please!' it said. Harry stopped, his shoulders brushing Lunas. "Is there any way to remove it without harming the mistletoe."

For the first time in her life luna gave _someone else_ a weird look, "What?"

Matching her gaze Harry shrugged, "I mean the mistletoe is really an innocent victim." Frankly he was really trying to stop her from blowing up anything—it couldn't be good for the ceiling, or the environment.

Luna raised a pale eyebrow but lowered her wand to her side, it seemed as she did Harry suddenly realized they were both standing under the mistletoe, and now it _could_ be potentially dangerous, he blushed his face turning scarlet. Was it possible to get drunk off fumes, for surely being around Professor Trelawney half the night was the reason he leaned in and kissed her quickly on the lips, when he pulled back they were both the shade of Weasley hair, and as Harry stared at her blankly his mind racing to find something to say, he didn't notice a small blue pixie like creature descend from the mistletoe looking like a close cousin of a Doxy-- that is, until it raised one of its four blue arms and cuffed him hard across the back of the head.

"OW!—Luna blast it!"

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End

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a/n- it's very OCC, I know this, but I kind of felt like going for exaggeration. Flames welcome. Special thanks too-**rfknives**, **draco the spirit dragon**, **crazy-emerald-blue** and** R**


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